How NOT to Comfort a Friend in Distress

Continuing a Bible study of Job:

(Job 8:1) Then Bildad the Shuhite answered and said, (2) "How long will you speak these things, and the words of your mouth be like a strong wind?"

Here begins a wonderful study on how NOT to comfort a friend in distress. I need lots of help with this one myself. So many times I really want to help and DO or SAY something that will really resolve the situation, but can wind up saying entirely the wrong things so easily. So I intend to take this study one verse at a time to look for godly insight, because after all, Job's friends were godly brothers, and they spoke biblical truth, so where did they fail? To begin with, the very first sentence out of Bildad's mouth is like an accusation. That's enough to make the recipient of the words instantly defensive, making it almost impossible to hear the next sentence.

(3) "Does God pervert judgment? Or does the Almighty pervert justice?"

That sentence in itself is accurate. But Job had not really condemned God, so it may have been a unnecessary statement. It intimates that that is what Job had done, perhaps again raising defenses.

(4) "If your children have sinned against Him, and He has cast them away for their transgression;"

Bildad continues by bringing up Job's children. His children who have just recently died! What an awful thing to say at a time like this, that God may have cast them away because of their sins. I read a wonderful early commentary by Matthew Henry who wondered why Bildad would have to include Job's children, when speaking of God's judgment and justice. Could he not be an advocate for God without being an accuser of the brethren?

(5) "If you would earnestly seek God and make your supplication to the Almighty, (6) If you were pure and upright, surely now He would awake for you, and make the habitation of your righteousness prosperous."

Not only were Job's children probably cut off for their transgressions, but Bildad suggests that Job himself is not pure and upright, because if he were to become so and earnestly seek God, then God would make his habitation prosperous. I read a beautiful old commentary by Albert Barnes who feels even this scripture illustrates Job's extraordinary patience: "What could more try the patience of a sufferer than such cold and unfeeling insinuations? And what could more beautifully illustrate the nature of true courtesy, than to sit unmoved and hear such remarks? It was by forbearance in such circumstances eminently that Job showed his extraordinary patience." Perhaps, at the very least, a better way to approach this type of reasoning might be to suggest that Job had been attacked by the enemy, not that he brought these calamities upon himself.

(7) "Though your beginning was small, yet your latter end should greatly increase. (8) For inquire, please, of the former age, and consider the things discovered by their fathers; (9) For we were born yesterday, and know nothing, because our days on earth are a shadow. (10) Will they not teach you and tell you, and utter words out of their heart?"

Bildad doesn't expect Job to take his word for it, but tells him to inquire how it was in former times, suggesting he will find Bildad's words to be true.

(11) "Can the rush grow up without mire? Can the reed grow without water? (12) While it is yet green and not cut down, it withers before any other herb. (13) So are the paths of all who forget God; and the hypocrite's hope shall perish,"

Bildad now seems to accuse Job of being a hypocrite and that is why his blessings have been cut off.

(14) "Whose hope shall be cut off, and whose trust is a spider's web. (15) He shall lean upon his house, but it shall not stand; he shall hold it fast, but it shall not endure. (16) He is green in the sun, and his branch shoots forth in his garden. (17) His roots are wrapped around the rock heap, and sees the place of stones."

The last line may be added to signify added strength with roots wrapped about stones, but that strength won't matter if God removes him from that place.

(18) "If He destroy him from his place, then it will deny him, saying, 'I have not seen you.'"

If God destroys him from his place, then the place will deny him; there will be no memory of him left in that place.

(19) "Behold, this is the joy of His way, and out of the earth shall others grow. (20) Behold, God will not cast away a perfect man, neither will He help the evildoers, (21) Till he fill your mouth with laughing, and your lips with rejoicing. (22) Those who hate you will be clothed with shame, and the dwelling place of the wicked will come to nothing."

In light of his previous comments, Bildad may be continuing his insinuation that Job is not a perfect man or else God would not cast him away. But this might also be considered a comfort, a promise of things to come, that the righteous man will not be cast away completely; he will return to joy and his enemies will be brought to nothing. Maybe this was Bildad's point all along, but perhaps he should have made it first without appearing to condemn Job in his time of misery.